Valentine’s Day, The Anti-romantic
Are you so deprived of romantic consideration for most of the year, that you would settle for romance by obligation. Valentines Day is a romantic paradox. The soul of romance itself lives in spontinaety, and by declaring a day for lovers to be romantic, you have killed half of the magic. Don’t allow your lover to fall asleep in the job all year and then impress you with some raggedy ass flowers or dinner at red lobster!

Champion Lover Holiday
A champion lover is frequently thoughtful throughout the year. That is why in protest of valentines day, I am declaring a new holiday: The Champion Lover (CL) holiday. Think of it like sick time at work. You can take it as you need it (nh). From now on, Everyone has at least 12 Champion Lover holidays per year. You can take one every month or you can spend like two weeks this summer cup-caking with your boy/girlfriend, wifey/hubby, life partner, f%#ck buddy, or what ever you kids call it these days.

Every holiday has it’s own traditions and customs. The Champion Lover holiday is no exception. We will keep it simple. There is only one rule. Be selfless. When a Champion Lover does things for someone he/she cares for, it is done for no other purpose than to make that person feel special. It has to be done just because you love to do it. Do it for the look on her face.

Do Champion Lovers give gifts? Of course; but yall can save all them all-over print cupid boxers and heart-shaped novelty objects (the only heart shape that matters is in my womans jeans).

The best gift you could ever give is an experience or a memory. Plan an outing for your better half. Do something that neither of you have ever done. Even after that day or weekend is over, you will have a pleasant memory with that person that will last much longer than flowers. Flowers are cool too, though. Fellas, know your ladys favorite blossom. Dont just get her a dozen red roses. Does she even like red? You are supposed to know her favorite fragrance, color, bra size, dress size, ring size, shoe size, and all of her tastes and preferences. Who cares if livelevated said Katana was a nice restaurant; your girl doesn’t even like sushi!